dia de los muertos
November 2, 2006
On this day, The Day of the Dead, my brother-in-law, John, made the decision to choose death over life after a long, hard struggle with acute depression. I don't think he chose this day on purpose, rather he came to the decision that life didn't hold enough joy to counteract the intense helplessness and hopelessness that overcame him.
I'm not really sure how anyone involved deals with a death caused by suicide. I am struck though, in this particular moment, how individual our lives are. My life goes on more unchanged than not, yet my sister's sense of how things should be has been violently blown apart, the shrapnel landing in the most painful places possible. This is not something that anyone should ever have to deal with.
Today, one week later:
John's funeral is today in Phoenix at 1:00 pm. They transported his body there because his extended family lives in that area. John's family is taking care of all the funeral arrangements. My mom and sister drove there from where Karma lives near Albuquerque, and my dad stayed back to care for Karma and John's new puppies (one litter born on my birthday, the second born the day after). My sister opted to not go to the viewing of John's body last night. I believe that she saw too clearly the limits of the physical body one week ago, and wants to hang on to her memory of John beforehand. Whether or not this is the right decision is yet to be seen, I suppose...
On this day, The Day of the Dead, my brother-in-law, John, made the decision to choose death over life after a long, hard struggle with acute depression. I don't think he chose this day on purpose, rather he came to the decision that life didn't hold enough joy to counteract the intense helplessness and hopelessness that overcame him.
I'm not really sure how anyone involved deals with a death caused by suicide. I am struck though, in this particular moment, how individual our lives are. My life goes on more unchanged than not, yet my sister's sense of how things should be has been violently blown apart, the shrapnel landing in the most painful places possible. This is not something that anyone should ever have to deal with.
Today, one week later:
John's funeral is today in Phoenix at 1:00 pm. They transported his body there because his extended family lives in that area. John's family is taking care of all the funeral arrangements. My mom and sister drove there from where Karma lives near Albuquerque, and my dad stayed back to care for Karma and John's new puppies (one litter born on my birthday, the second born the day after). My sister opted to not go to the viewing of John's body last night. I believe that she saw too clearly the limits of the physical body one week ago, and wants to hang on to her memory of John beforehand. Whether or not this is the right decision is yet to be seen, I suppose...
posted by Gade at 2:09 PM
2 Comments:
Oh Gade
Its is never easy to find the right things to say at times like these. I can translate something we say back home. One thing we say is that we think he's in a better place and the other is that we hope God makes it up to you with better days. Neither sound comforting enough in my opinion ,but they're more than I can verbalize.
Take care Gade.
love Eeina
Gade, I wish I knew what to say. We are holding your family in the light.
Susan
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